Bright Ideas and Horse Breeds
I have seen this listing before. In fact, I’ve seen versions of this in many different places, and the list seems to change every time it appears. But, for the life of me, I cannot find the original source.
Here’s hoping this is public domain. It cracks me up, and perhaps you’ll enjoy it too. Maybe you can add a breed or two in a comment.
How many horses does it take to change a light bulb?
Akhal Teke: I will only change it if it's my owner's own light bulb and no one else has ever touched it. You never know where those things have been.
Andalusian: I will delegate the changing of the light bulb to my personal groom after he finishes shampooing my mane and cleaning my saddle, but only on the condition that it is changed for a soft blue or green light bulb, which reflects better off my coat while I exhibit my astonishing gaits.
Appaloosa: Ya'll are a bunch of losers. We don't need to change the light bulb. I ain't scared of the dark. And someone make that darn Morgan stop jumpin’ up and down before I double barrel him.
Arabian: I changed the light bulb an hour ago. C'mon, you guys. Catch up!
Belgian: Put the Shetland Pony on my back; maybe he can reach it then.
Broodmare: (Big squeal.) It’s way too dark in here. How am I supposed to get into the mood without proper lighting?
Cleveland Bay: I'm busy. Make the whipper-in and the hounds do it.
Connemara: We'll just be after havin' a nip of the Bushmill's, we will, and then we'll not be noticin' a wee burned-out light bulb.
Fjord: That thing I ate was a light bulb?
Friesian: I would, but I can't see where I'm going from behind this fabulous forelock.
Grade Horse: Guys? Um, guys? I hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and changed the light bulb while you were all arguing.
Hanoverian: Who needs a ladder?
Holsteiner: How DARE that light bulb burn out! How DARE you ask me to change it! The nerve of some people.
Lipizzaner: Hah, amateurs. I will change the light bulb. Not only that, but I will do it while standing on my hind legs and balancing the light bulb on my nose, after which I will perform seven flying lead changes in a row and a capriole. Can you do that? Ya? Ya? Didn't think so.
Miniature: I bet you think I can't do it just ‘cause I'm small. You know what that is? It's sizeism!
Morgan: Me! Me! Me! Please let me! I wanna do it! I'm gonna do it! I know how, really I do! Just watch! I'll rewire the entire barn afterwards, too. Anything else you want me to do, while I’m at it?
Mustang: Light bulb? Let's go on a trail ride instead. And camp out in the open like REAL horses.
National Show Horse: Lights? Lights? Where? Do you want me to pose? This is my good side. No, wait, let me get my mane straight. No, wait, this angle is all wrong. No, wait, maybe this is my good side. Do you want dramatic … or bold … or maybe sensitive?
Paint: Put all the light bulbs in a pen. Tell me which one you want, and my owner will bet you $20 that I can get the right light bulb before the quarter horse.
POA: I'm not changing the light bulb. I'm the one who kicked the old one and broke it in the first place, remember? Now, excuse me, I have a grain room to break into.
Quarter Horse: Put all the light bulbs in a pen, and tell me which one you want. Just ignore the paint behind the curtain. He’s trying to act all colorful and cool.
Saddlebred: My ears are up already. Please, please get the light bulb away from me! I'm ready to show, really. I promise I'll win! Put me in, coach!
Shetland: Give the light bulb to me. I'll kill it, and we won't have to worry about it anymore.
Shire: Who cares about a light bulb?
Standardbred: Oh for Pete's Sake, give me the darn light bulb and let's be done with it.
Thoroughbred: Who ME?? Do WHAT? I'm scared of light bulbs! I'm outta here!
Warmblood: Changing light bulbs is below my pay grade and my dignity. Get the retired racehorse to do it.
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