Has a bad ride ever stuck with you afterwards?

Think back a bit to the last time you had a bad ride.

Sure, a bad day at the barn is better than the best day almost anywhere else. I get that. But we all have less-than-ideal rides once in a while. I’m not even talking about those dreaded times we land in the dirt. I mean those times when the horse acts up, things don’t go so well, or we simply aren’t up to snuff in the saddle.

C’mon. ‘Fess up. You know what it feels like, even if it’s been awhile.

This happens every now and then for me. I gotta admit it. 

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A large part of the problem is the fact that I am fighting a lifelong medical condition that can assail me unpredictably and viciously with balance issues, bouts of vertigo, muscle spasms, exaggerated startle reflexes, vision problems, and some serious sudden-onset fatigue. Those symptoms can challenge my ability to ride as well as I want to.

It’s a good thing I have a seasoned, sensible, and (OK, I’ll say it.) somewhat lazy horse these days. I sold the young and crazy, but beautiful, ones after I came to terms with the reality of my health issues. My current mount is adorable, but not flashy. She’s fun, but not fancy. And she’s low key, rather than high-maintenance. I guess we are sort of perfect for one another.

But I still have bad rides. And mostly, they’re on me, although the horse can pretty much tell when she’s gonna get off easy. She’s sort of smart that way. She knows when it’s time to quit, even if I’m still trying to figure that out.

So my bad rides are no longer the hold-on-for-dear-life, whoa-crazy-horse, we’re-all-gonna-die kinds of nightmares than I occasionally had with my fiery young horses. They’re more the fifteen-minutes-is-enough-today, let’s-not-even-try-the-hard-stuff, and thank-God-horses-can’t-tell-time kind of thing.

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Recently, I picked up a cozy hooded sweatshirt with this design on it: “Never let yesterday’s bad ride spoil today’s good one.” It’s become my go-to riding pick, because it sort of says it all for me, with my ups and downs. I wore it today, and had a really sweet ride. So maybe it works!

Little by little, I’m trying to let go of bad rides when they happen and start each new ride fresh. Just because my last jaunt was a little disappointing doesn’t mean I have to bring that baggage aboard this time. My little horse has already forgiven and forgotten. Maybe I can too.

Know the feeling?

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Someone wants to ride your horse? (You’re welcome.)

Everybody dreams of riding horses. Don’t they? OK, nearly everyone. And, when non-horsey folks hear of friends who have horses, isn’t this a frequent request?

"Can I ride your horse?"  (Or my personal favorite, "Can my kid ride your horse?)

Wait a second.

Do you hear that noise?

That’s the sound of hundreds of horse lovers, all cringing at once. In the background, maybe you can also make out the sound of tons of insurance adjusters, revving up their calculators to re-evaluate our collective premiums (if we even carry equine insurance). Listen carefully, and you might also hear scores of barn owners groaning over the possible liability suits that may arise, regardless of any signed waivers, if Johnny Noclue or Katie Neverrode should be suddenly launched from a horse loaned by a too-trusting owner.

And in the distance, you might also pick out the sound of an equine veterinarian, warming up the truck for another barn call.

So here’s one direction the horse riding request conversation might go.

“You have a horse? Can I come ride him?”

“Well, let’s see. You have a fancy motorcycle. Can I come out and try it?

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. It can be a little unpredictable. It sort of has a mind of its own.”

“Ah, I see.”

You’re welcome, fellow horse lovers.

It’s not that horse owners are stingy. It’s just that many of us work long and hard to afford our own horses, so we can school and train and care for them, hoping to follow our equestrian pursuits for the long haul. We know and understand the potential dangers of stepping up onto huge, strong, energetic creatures with their own attitudes and wills. And we have at least an inkling of the possible legal and financial ramifications of putting our prized animals or our friends at risk.

After all, horses aren’t exactly bicycles.

My bike, I’d readily loan to a friend. My horse, not so much. 

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Can a barn change boost the horse-human relationship?

Sometimes things really do work out for the best, even when they seem to start out a little rocky.

We just spent several super years in a wonderful equestrian community of horses and humans. The facility was beautiful and well-managed. The clientele was pleasant and fun. And the barn offered on-site horse shows and training clinics, in which we happily participated. We made lots of fine friends and merry memories.

Moving to a new barn means leaving the familiar herd.

It was all good.

Overnight, our horsey world turned upside-down. The barn owners sent an email to all of the boarders, announcing that the facility would be offered for sale immediately and that they would be closing their business within a few months.

With winter just over the horizon, dozens of horse owners began searching for stalls in other barns. We asked around in our horsey network of friends and contacts. We visited lots of equestrian facilities.

Stepping into new stables can be a horse-human adventure.

We packed up the ponies and moved.

Fairly quickly, we were able to find a suitable and reasonably affordable spot for our own herd. We acted promptly, as stables with indoor arenas tend to fill fairly fast in this region in the fall.

Heck, we had four horses to place.

Although we already miss many friends from the old barn, we are happy to report that our horses are settling in nicely in their new home. We are making lots of new horse-world friends and reuniting with some long-time pals as well.

We are even saving a few hundred dollars a month, while enjoying excellent horse care and fine facilities.

But here’s the best part.

LAN photo by L. Davis. Used by permission.

I am re-discovering the preciousness of the horse-human bond, which seems only to be enhanced by settling in together in unfamiliar surroundings.

As horse owners, we know that our equine companions look to us for their care and advocacy. When we move them to new, unknown spots, they depend on us more than ever for consistency and assurance.

My young sport horse mare and older Thoroughbred gelding (along with my daughter’s Morgan mare and Quarter Horse gelding) had to leave the herds they knew. They were loaded onto trailers, carted several miles away, and led off into strange stalls and pastures. Horses they’d never seen gaped at them.

I don’t want to personify my equines, but I could swear each of my horses gave me the same look, as if to ask:

Where are we?

Will I be fed and watered in this strange place?

Will you still spend time with me?

How will my life change?

Is everything gonna be OK?

Within a few days, after experiencing their new care, turnout, grooming, and schooling routines, our horses quickly grew accustomed to their new residence.

Here’s another intriguing development we have noticed.

Sometimes sharing a new spot brings familiar equines closer.

Although our horses were never pastured together at the former location, and they did not occupy adjacent stalls, they surely knew one another. Now, in their new home, they get along famously. We even placed my daughter’s mare with the two geldings for the first few days, until they settled in enough to assimilate into other turnout groups.

And my mare has grown very fond of a two-year-old Quarter Horse filly, pastured next to her. She even tosses hay over the fence to share with the youngster.

I’m not a barn-hopper, and I do not recommend relocating horses often.

But, when the need becomes pressing, it can turn out to be an opportunity to build an even deeper relationship between horse and human.

You don’t belong to the herd. 

You belong to me.
And that's magic.

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