I won’t ride with you, if …

I love to ride, and I enjoy riding with other equestrians. But I choose, whenever possible, not to ride with those who repeatedly endanger others with their behavior.

I have a friend, for example, whom I have enjoyed for many years. We’ve attended parties, horse shows, and other events together and had a blast. But I won’t ride with her anymore. Why not? Well, every time I have, her horse has reared and bucked and snorted and run off with her. And my horse hasn’t taken too kindly to that. On multiple occasions, I have walked away wrenched from sudden bolts and starts. (Hey, at least I have walked away from these incidents.)

As a result, I now enjoy interacting with this particular friend when both my boots are on the ground, but not in the saddle. Actually, we don’t even keep our horses at the same barn anymore, so this is no longer a concern. But I can still be a little careful about those with whom I am willing to ride, if I have the choice.

If you’ve ever experienced a serious injury after coming off a horse that’s been spooked or startled as a result of another human’s foolish or careless actions, then you know exactly what this means.

Equestrian etiquette is all about mutual safety, with participants aiming to protect one another, while enjoying pleasurable riding experiences.

Here are 18 such folks we’ve identified over the years.

  1. Carla Controlfree
  2. Curt Cutyaoff
  3. Dora Doorslammer
  4. Erma Earbuds
  5. Flora Flipflops
  6. Gayla Gallopoff
  7. Harry Horsebeater
  8. Haylie Hotdog
  9. Lucy Looselunger
  10. Nettie Noreins
  11. Nevin Nevermucks
  12. Odetta Overmounted
  13. Patty Parkandchat
  14. Sally Slackcinch
  15. Shawn Shoutalot
  16. Stu Stopontherail
  17. Tammy Tailgater
  18. Wilma Whipcracker

Safety-conscious equestrians: Have you encountered any of these folks? Know any others worth mentioning here?

If you’re on this list and in the arena when I show up, I'm likely to wait a bit and come back later. Don’t take it personally. I'm protecting you, as much as I am myself and my own horses.

(Yes, the names have been changed to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real people is unintended.)

Public domain photo

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